Today was not the best day I've ever had. Both girls decided to be awake by 6:15 and considering Jade does not know how to exist without constantly talking these days, I definitely started the day in a bad mood.
Even after a 3-hour break (yay for MMO at Liberty Baptist Church!), I still needed a break. I had a babysitter lined up this afternoon for Piper so I could go out for some one-on-one time with Miss Jade, so she and I headed to the playground and for some Rita's. I was doing a really bad job of living in the moment. I was tired. Needed some quiet. Trying to organize our house in my mind. Not focusing on my kid. Which, incidentally, is the whole point of me going out- to focus on Jade with no Piper distractions. So then I felt like a failure. And beat myself up for being a failure.
By the time we got back to the house, I was looking forward to putting the kids in bed for the night. I basically felt like the day could not be salvaged and was praying that we would all wake up miraculously happy tomorrow. And then Chuck was late getting home. Needless to say, I was thrilled to try to pull dinner together with no husband at home and two whiny kids- and, let's face it, a grumpy mom.
And then it's like a switch flipped. I strapped Piper to my back, fully expecting her to arch her back and scream like she normally does (that's a post for another day... a babywearing mama with a baby that hates being worn!), but she didn't. She liked it. Made cute little cooing and gurgling noises. Pulled my hair out. Ok, the pulling my hair out thing wasn't great but the rest was. I put Pandora on the TV and Jade, who normally whines and pulls on my legs or crawls all over the counter putting her finger in whatever I'm cooking, starting dancing all over the living room.
In that moment, I thought "this is fun". In my extremely naive pre-kid brain looking forward to my life as a mom, that's how I envisioned it. Things around here rarely live up to expectations. That's life, and that's fine. But in that moment? Everything was great. God reminded me that, despite all the crud life throws at us sometimes, I have two amazing daughters. And I am so thankful for that.
And for Jade's dance moves. Crawling in a circle being my personal favorite. The next time I go to an event where there's dancing, I'm definitely going to start crawling. It's as good as any other dance move I've got in my arsenal :)