The state of things

I hate to leave you guys hanging after a post like last week's. I received quite a few emails/messages in response to the post and it is always so nice to know that I'm not alone. Turns out, Jade is getting her molars at the moment and I'm sure that (combined with her recovery from the virus) has something to do with her recent behavior.

I've always been a big fan of finding the cause of the behavior as opposed to just correcting the behavior. Of course, I address the behavior but I try to really think through things instead of just saying "you're being bad! Go to time out!" I know that if I'm angry with Chuck over something, I want him to find out why I'm angry and either apologize or tell me his side of things. I do not want him to say "you're acting stupid, I'm just going to ignore you now."

Sometimes I find that my way "works", other times I think it would be way easier just to spank her and tell her to shape up. But honestly, that's just not the way I parent. So last week, after I vented my way through my blog post, I planned some fun activities for just Jade and I to do. We painted, we played with the sensory tub, we made dinner, we played with play doh. We've done a lot of practicing gymnastics and running around the backyard to make sure she's burning all her energy. Saturday, Chuck took her out on a "date" for doughnuts. All things to help her realize how special she is to us. And I've found that just by consciously making that effort to spend one-on-one time with her, her behavior improves dramatically.

Now don't get me wrong, things have not been perfect around here. She's still throwing tantrums. I'm still losing my temper. She's still being sent to time out. It's just not happening quite as much as it was last week.

God has really been showing me *why* He wanted me at home more and on the road less. All of those things I've been listing up there that I've been doing with Jade? Never would have happened if I was still running every morning and running errands every afternoon. She and I are reading her Bible every day during her sister's afternoon nap. I'm finding time during the day to really invest in my kids and I'm loving that.

However, I'm still struggling. I love running. I really do- it helps me stay sane and healthy. And as a person who's struggled with depression and anxiety, I don't say that lightly. It's always been an important part of me taking care of myself, and I know that taking care of myself is super important. God's been so faithful to provide me with the energy and patience that I generally gain from running, but I'm still antsy. Wanting to get back out there, just not finding the right solution. Right now my choices are: run in the afternoon after naptime, and run errands after the kids are asleep, or wake up and run at 5 am. And besides just not wanting to wake up at 5 am, I'm just not entirely sure that's safe. So I'm praying and waiting, hoping a solution makes itself apparent soon.

Thank you guys for caring- sometimes I feel like I'm mainly writing to myself, and it's nice to get little notes that tell me I'm not.