Monday, March 4, 2013

Write anyways

Last week was pretty crazy. It culminated in a trip to Dallas on Saturday that's highlight was me completely losing my cool on my 2-year-old in Ikea. Awesome.

One good thing about having kids is that no matter when you get them in bed, they wake up early. I'm calling this good at the moment because that meant that no matter how exhausted we were yesterday from our trip Saturday, we had absolutely no excuse to miss church. This was the second week of having a guest speaker and it was awesome.

The speaker yesterday talked about how God doesn't call you to give out of your excess, he calls you to give from your heart. He calls you to give all. And that God doesn't want just your money; he wants your money, your time and your talent.

Easy, huh?

I have been striving to be more generous lately in all areas of my life, and I was sitting there in church thinking "I'm generous. I'm good on this one". And then I realized that I also want more for myself. More wraps, more clothes, more things for the kids, more... stuff. God kind of slapped me in the face with that one. Would I still give my money if it meant I couldn't eat out whenever I want? Would I give my time if it took away from my precious sleep?

Am I giving out of excess?

I pray that I'm not. I'm asking God to show me the truth of my heart. And I'm writing. Because through my 28 years on this Earth, I have learned that I write to learn. Learn about myself and about God. I write to unscramble my thoughts and put them in logical order. I write to see where I need to go next. God is continuing to show me how important it is for me to write.

So sometimes I might get some comments about my blog that make me want to stop. Stop writing for other people to read. Stop putting myself out there. Stop showing people who I really am. But I'm not going to. I don't know why, but He doesn't want me to stop. I can only pray it's because He's using this small little space for good.

I know the last couple posts have been "deep". I'll try to do something more lighthearted next time :)

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