Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Just one of those days...

A while back, a friend posted on my facebook status that "some days are just bad". I took such solace in that statement, which I realize might seem stupid. But knowing that everyone has bad days and that it will, in fact, END keeps me sane when I'm in the middle of one. And today, my friends, was one of those days.

It started off well enough... actually, it was a great morning for us. Piper slept until 8, which gave me some one-on-one time with Jade as well as my cup of coffee. Despite that, Jade was whiny. Super whiny. I'm suspecting some teeth might be working their way in, but I've been waiting on these teeth for months so the truth is I don't have a freaking clue if that's what the problem is. Incessant pulling at my legs, pushing me away from the kitchen counter so that she can squeeze inbetween and say "up, please" repeatedly. Falling on the floor and thrashing when "up, please" is not immediately met with me picking her up. Shoving a crayon in my hand, ordering me to color, and then screaming "NO!!!!" when I begin to color and snatching said crayon out of my hand. Asking for her blanky, then screaming "NO!!!!" when I try to hand the blanky to her. Treating her baby sister like a baby doll and screaming "NO!!!!" when I intervene.

Yes, that's right... "no" is definitely her favorite word. And honestly, I could handle that. I've been dealing with that for months. But last week, the hitting began. And now, the hits accompanied by smiles that tell me "yes, mama I know what I'm doing and I know it's making you angry so I'm trying to see what kind of reaction I can get". And I can see the line that is the border for my sanity and I'm straddling that baby.

Despite my child's behavior, I went to Costco. Had to, because I'm hosting playgroup tomorrow (yikes!) and I needed juice boxes. Playgroup without juice boxes... well, it just isn't good (although I didn't have any the first time I hosted because my kid was 4 months old and it didn't even occur to me- oops!)

But back to Costco. I had not one, not two, but THREE complete strangers ask me if I needed help. I kept saying "no, I'm fine, thanks" but I really wanted to ask them "WHAT THE CRAP DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO??" Don't worry, I refrained. Piper was nice and cozy sleeping in the woven wrap until Jade started hitting me when I asked her to sit down and instead hit her sister. So then not only was Jade screaming, but Piper was screaming. I had two things to get... so I got them. People are staring from all over the store. Most in sympathy, some in judgement. Jade was either in the cart screaming or "helping" me push the cart and then darting away. Kid almost got left at the store because she kept running off, but I decided that I didn't feel like explaining that one to child services and football carried her to the car, with her kicking and screaming the whole way.

Unfortunately, the bad day didn't end there. I tried to go for a walk, and wound up going for a 5 minute walk because Jade was crying and Piper decided that she was WIDE AWAKE and wanted to look around. Unfortunately, "looking around" to a two-month-old means "my head is going to flop sporadically in every direction". Which meant Piper-girl needed some help from mom... leaving mom with one hand to push a stroller and walk two dogs. Not. Happening. It actually took far longer to get everyone ready for said walk than the walk itself actually took.

That's right, my friends, today was just one of those days.

But don't worry, later tonight, when I'm sure that she is GOOD AND ASLEEP, I will sneak into Jade's room, watch her sleeping and remember all the reasons I love her and how awesome she is. And Piper and I had a nice chat earlier and she was giving me some of the best open-mouthed smiles I've seen yet, which certainly helped my mood (Yes, I have photos. No, I cannot post them because my computer still hates me).

Truly, I live a blessed life, where these are my biggest problems. My girls are both so amazing and while every day might not be fun, every day is a part of our journey together. All of these days will help shape me into the mama God designed me to be and them into the people God designed them to be.

But here's to hoping that tomorrow is NOTHING like today :)


Beth Champion Mason said...

I can so identify! You are a wonderful mama and a wonderful writer. Thanks for sharing.

Anna said...

That old saying/song comes to mind--Mama said there'd be days like this. There'd be days like this Mama said--comes to mind. Hopefully, Jade will be in better spirits tomorrow.
Love you!!

Emily Lieser said...

Oh how I can feel your pain. At least your day is over now and you can focus on the blessings that your children are. I love to go in at night before I go to bed and look at them sleeping so peacefully. That's one way to re-fuel when you just feel like you can't do another day like that. And sometimes there a couple in a row, but you are blessed! Jade will come around, she's still getting used to having to share her beloved Mama. You are doing a great job with your girls, don't ever doubt that!!

Kristin Roberts said...

This post reminded me of a psalm, except in erin-mama-style instead of Bible-poetic style. :) Very real, very honest, and ended on a note of praise and hopefulness. I like that you bring it all to Him - the good, the bad, the worse, and the beautiful. (And yay that you're going through all of this first so that I can freak out to you when it's me) :)